Hand over your badge and GUN,

I feel bad for the Washington Wizards organization.  After they collected a potential “Big 3″ with Butler, Jamison, and Arenas they looked like they could compete in the east for years to come.  But down falls Jamison…twice, Butler hurt, and then Arenas out with knee surgery for another year.  The team just could not stay healthy.  Then when all the pieces start to fall back into place Agent Zero strikes back.  Not with an All-Star season, but with a handgun in the locker room.  You think after Plaxico Burress guns wouldn’t be seen anywhere in public.  Well I’m right, this instance it was in the “team locker room”.  If I can’t draw a worse picture, how about Arenas making a mockery of the situation during pre-game warmups.  In a circle of his teammates he was shooting at them with finger guns.  Where do athletes fit in with the law?  They have this perceived aura that they are truly above the law or are they just not that smart?  Now I know a couple FSU safety’s have a second grade reading level, but I choose to believe that most of these players are level headed.  But it seems like the only news coming from these perceived “professionals” are breaking the law.  I hope that the Washington Wizards Organization, NBA, David Stern, and the authorities lay down the law on Arenas.  By laying a harsh sentence on him I strongly believe that these instances will go away and players will conduct themselves better, at least they do in NBA Live 2010.

Asl06

Dallas Cowboys used to be “America’s Team” in the 90’s. Sunday’s were filled with Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith. The early 2000’s were filled with many disappointment and mistakes, from the infamous Tony Uh-Oh moments to that popcorn tossing maniac Terrell Owens. But in 2009 it seems like the Dallas Cowboy’s have again started to become America’s team. But it certainly does seem like they’re buying our affection. Spending 650 million on a brand new stadium that’s hosts to the largest 1080p HDTV T.V. Only three electricians were electrocuted during installation, but Jerry approves! Over the past couple years the only news from the Cowboys came from their players social lives. You had Tony Uh-Oh dating Jessica Simpson to Pac Man Jones’ late night fun. The team was even showcased on HBO’s Hard Knocks. The Cowboys to me feel like a lot like the Yankees, but without the trophies. Yeah they’re ahead at halftime but their smiles will be short lived. Within weeks the stadium will be empty and the only ones still trying will be the Texas residents, paying for it to sit idly.

Asl06

ESPN announced today that the network will be broadcasting major sporting events in 3D. World Cup fans have the privilege of getting to watch the first broadcast when South Africa takes on Mexico in the June 11th opener. In addition to the opener there will be up to 25 other World Cup games broadcast on the new ESPN 3D network. It doesn’t stop with soccer. The X games, 2011 BCS National Championship Game, and many more games to be added to the lineup in the near future.

OSN Note, We are currently trying to decide what is more shocking. Artest’s hair, the fact he was drinking Hennessey during games at halftime, or the author of this article’s last name is “skeets”.

Ron Artest admits he used to drink Hennessy at halftime

By J.E. Skeets

Leave it to Ron Artest(notes) to try and steal a little of Tiger Woods and Allen Iverson’s(notes) headline thunder.

In a lengthy and candid interview for the upcoming issue of Sporting News magazine, Artest — best known as the central figure in the infamous Malice at the Palace in Detroit — lets it fly, including a startling admission that he drank alcohol during games as a member of the Chicago Bulls.

“I used to drink Hennessy … at halftime,” said Artest, who played with the Bulls from 1999-2002 and now is with the Los Angeles Lakers. “I (kept it) in my locker. I’d just walk to the liquor store (near the stadium) and get it.”

Note: For those unfamiliar with the prestigious alcohol landscape, Hennessy is a brand of cognac, which is a French variety of brandy. It contains 40% alcohol, and is reportedly North Korean leader Kim Jong-il’s drink of choice. (Of course it is.)

Artest has said, and done, a lot of wild things over his career, but this “halftime Henny” revelation might be the most shocking one yet.

Is he admitting to being an alcoholic, but now, being older and more mature, recognizes the problem? Was he just a big kid thinking a little sip or two was all fun and games? Or, as can be the case with Ron-Ron sometimes, is he exaggerating the story to land bigger and bolder headlines?

I don’t know the answer, but let’s hope it’s something close to option one.

Artest speaks openly in the interview on many other sensitive topics, including his life as a St. John’s college basketball star (”I was a single pimp!”); his feeling towards The Brawl’s instigator Ben Wallace(notes) (”I’m always in the mood to fight him”); and his plans to become a professional boxer (”In four years, I’m going to try to have my first fight”).

Sharp is right: Ron should be obligated to give a feature-length interview at least once a month.

What a character.

So it is Thursday, you know what that means? It is time for another edition of FacePalmed News with iambp. I know I told you during the last edition that Tuesday was the day for FacePalmed News, but guess what, I can do whatever the fuck I want. Also, I am on vacation and felt like sitting by the pool.

Now, I am sure you are all anxiously awaiting me to FacePalm Mike, DJ, and the rest of the people who brought us OneSeason.com, but that is a softball. We have all torn them to pieces in the forums and will continue to do so. They definitely deserve to be FacePalmed, but they do not deserve to have a whole column dedicated to them. That is how much I think they suck.

So, with out further ado, this weeks FacePalmed award goes to Fox and TBS. The reason Fox and TBS are getting FacePalmed is because the geniuses in charge at these stations decided Wanda Sucks……I mean Wanda Sykes and George Lopez both deserve talk shows. I mean seriously how many shows do these two wannabe comedians have to have canceled before people in charge of TV stations realize they are not funny.

Here is a look at Wanda Sucks’ (which she will now be referred to as) stellar resume. She has been in such theatrical masterpieces as Pootie Tang, Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, and My Super Ex-Girlfriend. I don’t know about you guys, but these movies blow more asshole than DJ and Mike combined. Wanda Sucks also had her own TV show prior to this new shitpile the people at Fox want you to watch. How long did said show last? It lasted an entire nine episodes. You want to know why it only lasted nine episodes? It is probably because it was about as funny as the way DJ and Mike fucked all of us in the asshole sans lube. Would I know this show is not funny? Nope I would have no clue because I would rather watch a dog take a shit then this unfunny bitch try to be funny. As for her current talk show, I have about as much of a clue about it as Mike and DJ did when it came to running OneSeason. Fox, congratulations on receiving a prestigious FacePalm from iambp.

Now it’s time for me to tear apart TBS for giving another unfunny jerk a TV show. Seriously, TBS is it not bad enough you force a new Tyler Perry suck-ass show down your viewers throats every two months? I guess not. Because if you did want to retain the few viewers you do have, you would not be giving the unfunny asshole that is George Lopez a talk show. What the fuck is he going to talk to his guests about? The few times I have watched something he is on, I have not laughed. Actually, I have wanted to blow my own ear drums out so I did not have to listen to him any longer. I find DJ and Mike ass fucking without lube (no homo) funnier than George Lopez. All you need to know about George Lopez is he was a voice of a dog in Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Seriously, if you have to be a voice in Beverly Hills Chihuahua that means you suck at life and are a giant failbot. The surprising thing about George Lopez is that somehow the George Lopez show managed to last more seasons than OneSeason could last. Now what does that say about the guys in charge of OneSeason? Seriously, George Lopez can last longer than you guys and he sucks so much there is not even a word to define how much he sucks. I guess that means I am going to have to make up two new words. One for how much George Lopez sucks and another even more incredible word for how much you guys suck. Seriously, I do not have that much time. I guess all of my readers out there will have to help me out. I will work on a word for how much George Lopez sucks and you can all work on a word for how much the two ass-packers suck. Before I get too far off topic, I would like to congratulate TBS on receiving a prestigious FacePalm from iambp.

Until next time this has been iambp with another edition of FacePalmed News.

Peace Out Girl Scouts

Some of you might be wondering, what in the hell are the Hammy Awards? Well, Bullpup and myself got together and wanted to find a way to show our appriciation to all you loyal s.o.b’s. Came up with what we like to call, The Hammy Awards. If you are lucky enough to take down one of these truely remarkable honors, you’ll get yourself a $20 Visa Gift Card and a mini Hammy trophy to display with your username.

We are rolling out 2 catagories to start with. Dont you worry, there will be more..

Hammy Award #1

Funniest Moment of the Year - We already have a full thread dedicated to this. Pick your favorite and PM me or BP with your nominee. We will narrow it down to the top 4 before the winner is announced
the nominations are…

Tomarken- “OSN Legend Tomarken came up with several laughs for the community in the last year, but without a doubt, at the top of the list, was his digital short for OSN-TV

Tomarken put the entire community in stitches, and gasping for breath on this digital short. We hope to see more from Tomarken in 2010.

Bob Rafferty- “OSN Programmer, and CEO of OSN Telecom Administrations, Bob Rafferty absolutely floored the community when he called into OneSeasonTrader Radio. Bob had the premier IPO Alert tool in the business prior to OneSeasonTrader announcing their new pay service “OneSeasonText.com” Bob had been charging for his tool (), and donating the proceeds to charity. When OneSeasonTrader announced live on their radio show that they too were going to be offering a pay IPO alert to compete with Bob’s tool, and capture some of the dollars available in the IPO alert tool industry. Upon the announcement, Bob decided that everyone was going to start making tools, so Bob called in live, during the OneSeasonTrader.com radio show, and announced that he would be making his tool free again. The reaction at the time, was priceless and it created a ton of laughter/controversy. We know looking back, Knup is laughing, and we hope JC does too.

Timmy304- ‘Timmy Timmy Timmy. Better known around OSN as “MMmmmMmMmmgrrrablblblbaaahhh TIMMAH!” had been doing a phenomenal job in hosting Jewced-Up radio with surfingOneFour, when Jewcer decided to get a job bussing tables and couldn’t host himself anymore. Timmy, during one of the weeks, showed up shitfaced, laughing at everything, himself included, and proceeded to pass out in the middle of the show, leaving OneFour to figure out wtf was going on, and try to regain his composure and get the show back on track. Classic moment

BOBO- “Our favorite Hulkamaniac provided us with a CLASSIC moment in OSN history, and for sure a top moment of the year last year. OSN was doing a live chat with Mike Sroka, CEO of the now defunct “OneSeason.com”. The chat room had triple digit people in the chat (I think?) and it was a moderated chat with Mike Sroka. It was a very tense session for OSN Moderators and Bullpup, as they had not a lot of experience using the particular chat room software, and the moderators were doing everything they could to keep the chat organized and flowing well. Needless to say, the moderators were trying their hardest to keep the session informational, professional, and a medium that worked well, so the CEO of OneSeason would want to come back and do the chat session again in the future. After an hour or so, Bullpup decided to unmoderate the chat, and give everyone a chance to talk real time with Mike Sroka. The millisecond that the chat was released, and people were no longer moderated, and could type on the screen….flying ass animations came flying onto the screen courtesy of Bobo, making moderators irate, killing the professionalism that had been the goal, and looking back…giving us a top 5 laugh of the year. __________________

OneSeason Nation founding Member, and writer, Tdpenny2000 has been having fun and gaining a lot of viewers with his great new Boston sports themed website. Check it out! BostonSportsPulse.com. Check it out when you have time! He’s done a great job with it, with awesome articles. Here is the official write up.

Are you tired of reading the same old dinosaur Boston sports writers? Do you want an unfiltered, unbiased opinion of everything Red Sox, Bruins, Patriots, and Celtics related? Then this is your place to be! Here you will get nothing but straight shooting from me and my team. No agendas, no filters, no unnecessary use of SAT prep words, and best of all, no political correctness.

BostonSportsPulse.com was created by me, Chris Penfield. With the help of a couple of my friends, and one slightly misguided NY fan, I plan on making this site the one stop spot for all things Boston Sports related with a hint of Fantasy info sprinkled in. Be warned, this site is created by fans and is 100% for fans. If you are looking for another news paper you are in the wrong place. We target young professionals who don’t have the time or the patience to sit and read long winded news paper articles. We plan on bringing you information and analysis/opinion jam packed into quick, and entertaining posts with a side of stale humor.

Unfortunately, we all still have full time jobs so bare with us on the slow days. But please send all feedback, comments, suggestions, and questions to chris@bostonsportspulse.com as we are always looking to improve.

Once you see what BSP has to offer, you will never go back to the drab, boring, OLD style of sports writing this town has become accustomed to. Thanks for reading!

That being said, enjoy the site. If you like what you see, tell your friends and keep coming back for daily updates!

Oneseason is gone…. OneseasonNation is alive and strong. In just over a year OSN has become more than a place to talk about OS.  The Nation is about all that is fantasy sports, jokes, arcade games, and the new casino games. Moving forward OSN will continue to adapt to changes in the fantasy sports market. We will continue to find new ventures (fanduel.com) in the online fantasy world. We look forward to the adventures ahead and hope to grow as a community over the next year and beyond.

OneSeason has tapped out, and announced the site is closing. What is next for E-Global Sports Network? News as we get more, as always!

We are disappointed to report the closure of OneSeason.com.

Cash balances in OneSeason accounts will be transferred to respective users by hard check mailed via U.S. Postal Service.  Reserved Cash and funds tied to fantasy games in progress have been released to Cash.  Please note that SOIs are virtual goods that existed only on OneSeason.com and therefore have been dissolved.

You can login to your account in order to view the transfer history but all other functionality on the site is now turned off.  If you have not received your check by Dec. 15th please shoot us a note.

This end of service may come as an unpleasant surprise and is certainly not the outcome we hoped to achieve.  Unfortunately we have not been able to create a sustainable business and do not have the resources to continue operating.

We hope that you enjoyed the service.  Thank you to everyone who has supported us along the way and created such an amazing community of fans exploring new ways to enjoy sports.

Best Regards,

-Mike & The OneSeason Team

Jennifer Tilly's Gigantic...poker skills.. Not included

OneSeason Nation, your #1 authority when it comes to online fantasy sports gaming, is at it again, adding a full on Casino to the forums! OSN Bucks can be won or lost playing poker against other users (10 handed Texas Hold ‘Em or 7 card Stud), roulette, blackjack, betting on sports, playing slots, and much more. You can earn cash by posting in the forums, giving rep, starting a thread, rating threads, and even writing articles for OSN! The OneSeason Nation will be adding an OSN Store that is stocked with giftcards, and prizes, where users can redeem their cash for prizes in the store! OSN takes money earned from affiliate programs of fantasy sports sites, and buys prizes for the store. Currently, OSN is holding a FanDuel tournament in the forums, and the winner will be getting a cash prize, courtesy of Fanduel.com, and OSN. As more and more fantasy sports sites pop up around the internet, OSN is committed to bringing the commissions the community might otherwise pay to the site, back to the community, and stock prizes in the store, and have private tournaments for even more cash! Stay tuned for more info!

The entire OneSeason community is screaming loudly for OneSeason news. We at OSN have been scouring all sources of info we have, and looking for any news about OneSeason. There is simply nothing to report right now! It’s slow, noone is trading, all the die hard users are maxed on their accounts, so they can’t buy any of the cheap shares out there. We are expecting a small bump in the market in January when users $2500 limits are reset. But, if nothing is created to add value to the shares, we expect it to recede back to where it is now eventually.

One thing is for certain, when some news hits about OneSeason, you’ll see it here as quick as possible!

Junior is BACK!

That’s right, The Kid is coming back for another year with the M’s in a deal to be announced shortly, according to espn.com.

The deal will be very similar to his 2009 contract of $2m guaranteed and included incentives that saw Griffey earn $3.15m total. The deal is supposed to be announced before the GMs meeting wraps up in Chicago Wednesday. Stay tuned…

My calendar tells me it is Tuesday. That means two things. One is that I get to sit in class for four hours tonight while my professor professes from the largest soap box in the world for the entire time. The other, and more enjoyable thing is it is time for another edition of FacePalmed News.

This week I have decided to step out of the world of sports and step in to the realm of the OneSeasonNation. You may be asking yourself, “Yourself, my would IamBP ever think to FamePalm one of our own?” Well yourself, after some comments made in the chat box today I feel there is a great need for the world to know of the FacePalming transactions committed by OneSeasonNation’s own menoknow3.

One would have thought after losing his v-card and purchasing a house, the infamous menoknow3 would be on a proper course free of FacePalming behaviour. If you were one to assume this, you definitely made an ass out of you and me. Now you may be asking yourself, “Yourself, what did that character menoknow3 do now?” Well yourself, I will tell you what that character did. Menoknow3 was up at the crack of down today on a hunt for zhu zhu pet hamsters. Yes that’s right menoknow3 is back to ripping off parents and their children again. This time he is spending his days scouring the state of Wisconsin in an attempt to buy as many zhu zhu pet hamsters as possible.

Because of this transgression, menoknow3 consider yourself FacePalmed.

P.S. Get a real job

This has been another edition of FacePalmed News with IamBP

OSN Members have been kicking some serious tail on FanDuel recently. 6 OSN Members are in the top 20 in earnings this month on FanDuel! OSN had 5 members in the top 20 last month as well. Way to go fellahs! Props to Rockman who is at number 3 for winnings for November (But he is #1 in wins)! He’s hellbent on taking out Tuffled. OSN has our own strategy forums for discussing FanDuel and who on that site is “dead money” (easy to take money from in duels). If you’re looking for some fantasy fun, in addition to OneSeason, check it out! www.FanDuel.com!

October Results-Great Job Hunter! #1 in OSN