TMZ - Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their former housekeeper, who claims Vanessa was incredibly abusive — even demanding that she put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve a tag from her blouse. Maria Jimenez claims Vanessa called her “lazy, slow, dumb, a f—ing liar, and f—ing sh-t.” In the lawsuit filed in Superior Court in Orange County, Jimenez claims Vanessa accused her of stealing her (mouth) retainer. Jimenez says it got so bad — Vanessa allegedly “badgered, harassed and humiliated Maria by yelling and screaming at Maria and criticizing her in front of Kobe, the Bryants’ children, employees and other people in the household” — she threatened to quit but Kobe talked her out of it. The final straw: When Vanessa went nuclear because Maria put an expensive blouse in the washer. Vanessa demanded that Maria put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve the price tag for the blouse. Maria says she wanted to quit and Vanessa responded that she “had to work until payday to pay for the $690 blouse, which she did.” Maria is suing for wrongful discharge, invasion of privacy and emotional distress and unpaid wages.

Ok, so I know your husband is one of the greatest to play the game; and I know he cheats on you at least once a week; but lady, that does not give you the right to be a f***ing lunatic! Maybe if it you were KING’s wife this would be acceptable, but until your hubby is the number one traded SOI on OneSeason.com I think you need to take a few steps back. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have no problem giving incompetent people a piece of my mind, the deserve it. But to force this woman to reach into dog shit to get a tag from a blouse is and then make her work to pay it off is a little over the line. I get it, you wanted to wear the blouse once and return it, oldest trick in the book, that’s fine. News flash! Your husband makes a gazillion dollars a year! Just take the hit financially and move on, I think you will survive. I hope this woman gets a hell of a settlement if for no other reason than I am from Boston and anything bad that happens to KOBE is good news to me.

Got to hand to the kids from Creighton, it takes balls to wear a shirt like this in public, but they love BJ’s, they want everyone to know about it, and I for one respect that.

Thanks to DurShar for the share

If you have something that you think is front page worthy e-mail me, penny@oneseasonnation.com

Mike Sroka will be live in the OSN Chatroom this evening at 7pm PST chatting and discussing OneSeason with the OneSeasonNation! if you aren’t registered, sign up for the forums, and get in the chatroom inside the forums to be part of the event!

So yesterday the National Football League passed multiple new rules in a continued effort to increase player safety.  On the surface, that sounded all well and good, but then i got around to seeing what those new rules are, and I must say they left me perplexed…

First, no more hits to the neck and head of defensless receivers like the one Pitt safety Ryan Clark layed on Wes Welker last year that knocked him out of the game.  That I have no problem with, there is no need for those kinds of plays.Along those same lines, the infamous wedge on kickoffs can no longer have more than 2 people, again, fair enough, breaking up the wedge has been known to be one of the most brutal things in football…

but then the NFL went way beyond that with the “Tom Brady Rule”… now no players are allowed to attempt to tackle the quarterback while they are on the gound.  Are you kidding me?  The hit that knocked out Brady was not a dirty hit, there was no malicious intent, it was just a guy going hard and playing the entire play out.  Is he just supposed to quit once he gets knocked down?  First your not allowed to gently brush the qb’s helmet for fear of getting a personal foul, now this.  The QB has become a strike zone, hit too high and its illegal, hit too low and its illegal, I hope your aims good enough to hit right in the middle.

Of course, Pats owner Robert Kraft loves the new rule saying, “whatever we can do to protect quarterbacks and to minimize the opportunity of them being taken out with a year-ending injury I would support….It’s like going to see a great movie and the star isn’t in the movie. It’s the same principle.”

With that thought in mind, I came up with a few other rules the NFL should impliment next year…

1) New Dress Code:  All players must wear a bra and panties over their uniform to remind us that they are delicate flowers.  Hopefully this will remind players to treat each other with respect, afterall, you shouldn’t hit girls.

2) Mandatory hugging after every play:  After each play every player in the game must find a player on the opposing team to hug.  This rule will help create the type of friendly, butt fucking environment that the NFL is trying to cultivate.  Kisses are optional, but would be appreciated.

3) Hitting is no longer allowed.  Anyone that tackles an opposing player will immediately be ejected.  Instead, the NFL will be instituting a new “2 hand touch” policy.  Instant replays will be used to settle disputes between whether or not the ball carrier was touched with 1 or 2 hands.

4) Running is no longer allowed.  Games will now be played at “walk through” pace.  Over the years it has been proven that running has resulted in numerous muscle pulls and other injuries and that is unacceptable.  Fast walking is in the discussion, and if it is not banned next year, it most certainly will be the year after.

5) Offensive lineman are no longer allowed to block defensive lineman (or any blitzers for that matter).  That kind of physical contact is not in the best interest of NFL players health.  Instead, the two sides will play a “magicesque” card game where the winner (whoever has the most Hit Points left) will be allowed to pass the line of scrimmage and slowly walk towards the quarterback

Remember, the NFL is in the business of protecting it’s players, not letting them play a fast, hard hitting, competitive, but clean game… idk about you, but i’m really excited for the NFL in 2010!

*in unrelated news, my 8 year old nephew is being projected as the #1 overall pick in the 2010 draft.  Rumors have it under the new, “safe” NFL, he is one of the top prospects in the country.

Matt Ryan was released to the hounds tonight after a long day of waiting around. Ryan has settled into the bottom four of all football IPOs and is the lowest valued of all quarterbacks. Just behind Jay Cutler. QB’s are usually the highest valued of the football SOI’s and Matty Ice is coming into only his second pro season. In his rookie year he lead the Falcons to the playoffs. He is a born leader, has all the skills, and will only get better as he continues to mature. Matty is only the fourth “post hoo” football SOI and could have a lot of potential going into the upcoming football season. OS users tend to like the sexy young stars and RYAN is definitely in that category. I see him staying in the bottom of the football pool for a while but once football fever strikes and fantasy football comes around he could see some considerable gains.

OSNTV Episode 3 Viewing thread for your enjoyment.

OSNTV is ON THE AIR Tonight! Stay Tuned for a great episode!

People have been asking a question in the forums today and in the OSN Chat Room about the Captcha. Is it just one question? Does it refresh with a new question if you get the first question wrong?

The Answer is that it will only be 1 question, with an unlimited amount of times you can answer until you get it right.

Mike Sroka will be LIVE in the OSN Chat Room chatting with the OneSeason Nation, taking questions, and just hanging out with us on Wednesday March 25th at 10PM EST / 7PM PST. This is a OneSeason community FIRST! Bring your questions, comments, concerns, or anything else even NON OneSeason related you’d like to talk about!

Save the Date!
When: 3/25/09 10PM EST/ 7PM PST
Who: Mike Sroka OneSeason.com CEO
What: OneSeason community FIRST! LIVE CHAT with Mike!
Where: OSN Chat room

New IPO request feature: “Are You Fan Enough?”

This game wasn’t even as close as the score suggested. Syracuse dominated this one from the get go. Instead of putting Harden at the foul line and working in and out of the zone, ASU’s answer was to launch up three’s all game. This would be a decent game plan if you were hitting the shots, but come half time when the outside shot is not there it is time for a new plan. The best offensive possessions ASU had was when they put Harden on the foul line and passed it in and out of the defense and then taking a three if open or having Harden drive to the hoop. It also doesn’t help when your only down low presence fouls out with more than ten minutes left in the game. Syracuse played great defense and made key shots when needed. ASU got to within four with five minutes left but Devendorf nailed back to back threes to put the game in the bag which I hate because man, that guy looks like such a douche. For shame ASU, you really sucked the left nut today.

Arizona St. over Syracuse

I am not a fan of Syracuse. Ever since they had that six overtime win against UCONN and went on to the finals of the Big East Tournament everyone has been all over their balls. The same thing happened in 2006 when Gerry McNamara lead them to win the Big East and were knocked out in the first round of the big dance! James Harden went only 1-9 shooting and ASU still beat Temple easily. Don’t expect the key guard to be off two games in a row. While Syracuse is probably a better team on paper, they are worn down and playing a very good ASU team. Tune into this one at 12:10 est and watch the big orange go down.

If you told me I could call this number and talk to Evangeline Lilly you can bet your ass I would be first in line. This girl is right up my alley and anyone who has seen Lost definitely agrees with me. How they got this babe to do a commercial for their whacked out hot line is beyond me but all I can picture is her tied up in some dudes basement and him having his way with her.

If you have any videos you think deserve to be put on the OSN front page email them to me, penny@oneseasonnation.com with OSN Video’s as the subject line.

This is a bit of old news but here is Julian Tavarez explaining why he signed with the Nationals.

“Why did I sign with the Nationals? When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals [are] Jennifer Lopez to me.”

Now if only everyone was so honest, I think the world would be a much better place.

Clearly a Kick-Ass Sponsor

Congratulations to lbs0219 for last weeks winning caption in the OSN “Beat That Caption” Contest! Here is his winning caption.

VERY soon we will be adding more items to the OSN GEAR store, and even some very inexpensive items you can get for the $5 credit you get for winning this Caption Contest! Thanks to Dean and the folks at Art2Shirt.net for sponsoring this popular contest!

Here is this week’s submission. Do your worst! Enter as many times as you like, there is no limit! Have a great week!

Hehe....Dude....Wait.....What?