How were you alerted for the Chase Utley IPO? BOBS TOOL, OSPULSE, OSTEXT, OSALERTS..??

Well, being a devoted OSN Member I was given access to the Newest and Most Reliable Alert to date!! Philadogs Ass!!

Philadude has many connections being a lawyer and all, and one of his many clients happens to be a Stem Cell resercher. This man, who will remain anonymous for the time being, was able to take the IPO Alert Gene directly from the IPO Monkey and insert it into Philadogs rectum. Now with each bowel movement, Philadogs anus brings the excitement of a possible IPO Release!! The exact science is behind the magical pooping is still being worked out but we have narrowed it down to every 7-9 shits.

With each BM (bowel movement), Philadude busts out his cell phone and snaps an action photo. This
photo is then instant messaged to his entire phone book.

I apologize for the photo quality, I dont have full access to all my tools but this is BREAKING NEWS that I had to share with all of you ASAP — more info with better quality pics to come!!

Tags: IPO Alerts, OneSeason, OneSeason news

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 19th, 2009 at 9:15 pm and is filed under You Laugh, You Lose. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.