What do these 3 Men Have in Common?

Welcome to monday july 27th 2009.

I am giving serious thought to contributing to osn in a new way.
My proposal is that we utilize the platform in place to create a wiki sports blogsphere.

Look at a site like global grind to see what I have in mind, however instead of hip hop culture we would have multiple sports related contributions from a widely varied group of contributors. We also have the potential for near real time discussion and reaction with the availability of the chat box and chat room.

I will prepare my 1st contribution and publish later today. I will essentially just be picking up a usa today and offering my 2 cents on current sports events

What do these 3 Men Have in Common?

It seems like some people are making more state of OneSeason posts than usual, and I am a copy cat so I will chime in.

It currently kind of blows if you have a lot of money in.

It is still moderately fun if you are playing with $50 - $100 and can see 5 - 10% gains off IPO hits.

Everyone will likely continue to go down thru the summer.

Football SHOULD see some renewed interest, but existing players likely will not recover overly quickly as new options will continue to come to market.

If you have a TON (60+% of FRTE) of someone, you are kind of screwed short term.

If you have a few shares of every football player, you will likely be able to make a few measley dollars.

Bullpup theorized today that perhaps OneSeason is correcting to where they expected it. I interpreted that to mean that he thinks it is possible they are only after very small casual players.

The fact of the matter is that if the rent on their office is $5000 (laughable low for SF) and they are getting 1% commission in each direction they need $250,000 worth of shares traded a month to cover that cost.

I have also heard it theorized that they may be getting as much as 7% interest on the money in the system, and that is how they intend to profit.

5 employees (less than we know they have) making $50,000 each (pretty standard for 20 something college grads) would mean they need $3,571,428.57 in the bank at an AMAZING interest rate to afford those employees, and we haven’t even discussed traditional and non traditional benefits yet.

I think the final theory is that CRV giving them 3.5 million dollars buys them time.

Startups are not usually given 2nd phase money until they hit the 2nd phase.

3.5 million would BARELY cover the advertising they are doing in addition to their hosting fees and operational costs.

The reality is that something WILL change in the very near future.

OneSeason out of sheer necessity can NOT remain in it’s current state.

The logical move? You tell me

Are you tired of sitting around every day waiting for the next big thing?  Every day you sit at your computer and stare at the website thinking, “when is this thing going to blow up.”  We remember how much fun OneSeason can be, then we remember how quickly that fun can turn into boredom and a stagnant market.

If you’re one of those people I just described above, one of those people hoping that these mythical third party games will bring the fun back to OS, stop dreaming!  Instead of waiting around for that next big thing, why not create it.  If the possibilities of OneSeason are truly limitless, why not get creating.  Use that imagination to come up with something that will “change the game forever”.

With that thought in mind, I have taken it upon myself to come up with a few ideas that I think could really take off.  Ideas that could take OneSeason to the next level.  If you think Oneseasonnation and Oneseasontrader were good ideas, just wait, its only the beginning.

Oneseasonfights.com

Screw the Rep system!  The OneSeason community is filled with rivalries.  What better way to settle those differences than with a good old fashion brawl.  Who wouldn’t pay to watch BP and TheBrett battle it out against Knup and JC in a tag team match for the title of Best OS Community (forget the fact that many of us participate in both, this is a fight damn it!).  Or how about Ponzi vs StockPlayer in a “Pyramid Match” (you know, first one to climb to the top of the pyramid in the middle of the ring and grab the fake check wins, but watch out, because you never know when your opponent will rip the bottom of the pyramid out from under you and the whole thing will come crashing down).

Oneseasonmatch.com

Are you tired of looking for love in all the wrong places.  At oneseasonmatch.com we will match you based on 29 proven dimensions of compatibility.  Our complicated process involves analyzing both your trading and posting habits in determining who you’re most compatible with.  Do you like investing for the long term, or are you the day trading type?  Football or Baseball?  Shaq or Kobe?  Do you make 20 useless posts a day, or 2 well thought out ones?  No matter what you’re type, we’ll find a soul mate for you.  (Note: We have already successfully matched RandyRatio with a big black dildo and a can of axe, and he’s said he couldn’t be happier)

Oneseasonporno.com

This is something I have been pushing for a long time now.  If you think about it, it is really the only logical place to go for the OneSeason empire.  We have sports, we have gambling (oneseasonpoker), whats the next logical step?  Sex of course!  Afterall, what more does any guy need.  Sure there are some kinks that need to be worked out (the last thing i want to see is Sdog in silk boxers), but I think this things got potential.  Just think of it as an x rated version of SI’s swimsuit edition.  Just imagine the day when OS is big enough that ESPN keeps an OS ticker on tv… when that day comes OSPorno will be big enough to get athletes wives involved.  I don’t see how it could go wrong!

Oneseasonbuzzed.com

I have a dream, and this is it… If oneseasonporno is the next logical step the OS evolution, then surely OSBuzzed can’t be far behind.  Sports, gambling, sex, and beer. Oh what a world we would live in… Come to oneseasonbuzzed.com not only for our drinks (I call it the Berry Bonds… you take 2 parts Berry Kool-Aid, 2 parts Mountain Dew, and 1 part Grain Alcohol, then put it all in a syringe and inject it right into the bloodstream… that shit’ll knock you out), but also for our safe trading.  No longer do you have to fear getting loaded and then coming home and buying 5 shares for 100 bucks instead of 100 for 5 bucks.  Using our highly complicated trade analyzer, we are able to sort through all the wrong numbers/completely nonsensical characters, to figure out exactly what you wanted.  And if for some reason the computer is still unable to figure out your order, or the end result is too far from the players current price, your order will be put on hold for 12 hours until you’re sober enough to confirm it.  But thats not all, oneseasonbuzzed support also extends to the forums where you will no longer have to fear looking like an idiot when drunk/high.  Trained experts will be working around the clock to decipher all the typos, ramblings, and everything else that comes with being 20 beers deep and trying to operate a computer.

So there you have it.  If you want the excitement of OS to continue for the long term, you must always get bigger, better, and crazier.  This is (without a doubt) the future of OS, and I for one can’t wait…

It is now in your hands nation, I have showed you the next big thing… but where will you push OS after that?  What are your “big ideas”

Take a shyt without your laptop, and enjoy the day.  Because .4% is a beautiful thing.

I am stuck at work so I figured I might as well start an early thread.

I missed most of the action Thursday due to unavoidable actual work needing to get done (not cool)

I think because it is Friday I will take this Daily in a slightly different direction. I think I am going to start adding some relevant and probably some irrelevant observations to spark a little more conversation.

The market should start to stagnate as trader’s Sportfolio composition accurately reflect what they see happening a month, year, 5 years from now instead of being ruled by a constant fear of being the last one holding the rope.

So let’s have some stimulating conversation to distract us from Hockey moving 120 shares in 2 days.

Topic 1
Kobe is the coldest blooded mofo in the entire NBA. If I were starting a franchise I would take Lebron, if I wanted to sell tickets I would take Lebron, if I needed to sell dirt popsicles to a woman in white gloves I would take Lebron. If I needed 1 shot to win 1 game for my life… I would take Kobe.

Anyways, game of the night last night the Lake Show take care of business on the road with no Bynum. Great win. Why couldn’t Boston get a shot at the end of regulation? Starbury would have gotten a shot BELIEVE THAT! I was going to put a bill on the Lakers GETTING 6.5. Kobe is too good to get 6.5 ever.

Topic 2
Pat Summit won her 1000th game last night. Part of me is impressed, part of me realizes what a joke women’s basketball is. They play on the same court with the same rules and a smaller ball but they shoot a lower percentage? I’m not saying I could beat the best women in the world, but if you rank all the male basketball players in the world, and all the female basketball players in the world… I would shut out the girl ranked the same as me.

Topic 3
Lane Kiffin accused Urban Meyer of cheating and still missing out on a recruit.
1) Florida isn’t following the rules to the letter in recruiting? NO SHIT!
2) Why does the Raiders coach care if Florida is cheating? Don’t hate em cuz you ain’t em Lane, I’m sure the silver and black could hang tough with the Gators for a quarter.
3) Any publicity is good publicity? Maybe this will make people realize that Lane Kiffin is the coach at Tennessee, and Tennessee is about the gayest looking team ever. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers called and they want their 1980’s uniforms back for their stadium Hall of Fame.
4) Lane Kiffin has a hot wife

Topic 4
Santonio Holmes, Chris Cooley, Vinsanthe (sp?) Shiancoe all have something in common, what is it?
(PS I will neg rep the hell out of anyone who replies to this topic with pics)

Topic 5
Anyone who cares please let me know which MLB team you would like previewed first. Maybe I’ll start with the champs?

Topic 6
I have decided to start charging for the Daily Thread, you can prepay. Wednesdays when there are pictures of hot chicks will start at $5 and Saturdays will be $1.

And Bob, so help me if you start making free daily threads we are going to have a problem.

I for one view OneSeason as a Trading Card without the cardboard site,

I have been admittedly confused since day 1 about the 3rd party apps.
(However I do agree that the IPO alerts would qualify as the first viable example)

That being said I started to analyze baseball cards and what went right and wrong with them during the course of my lifetime.

The goal is to see if I believe OneSeason will resonate with all the former card traders and be a viable long term business.

My father is the youngest of 4 boys in a sports crazy house hold / neighborhood. Baseball cards serve as a means of social interaction, a badge of honor for the kid with the best collection, and a glimpse of childhood heroes.

My uncle Denny (who not coincidentally was the oldest) still collects cards to this day and has every complete set of baseball cards produced in his lifetime (He works in baseball and has some AMAZING stuff) I will always remember the first time we went to his house and saw his collection of Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle rookies
(think it’s a coincidence those are my all time 1/2?)

My dad, remembering his childhood and the role baseball cards played in his youth took me to get my first pack of baseball cards after my first “hardball” game before we went to Tobin’s Pizza in Bloomington, IL.
I will NEVER forget that 1987 Topps Doug Decinces that was my first ever baseball card.

I spent the gross domestic product of Guam on trading cards of every kind and received them and the accessories that went along with them for every holiday.
I had and have 10’s of thousands of cards from the 80’s and 90’s as well as every conceivable storage container, binder, page, sleeve, case that was sold at my local card store.

Some dick hole got greedy and we saw the “Rise of the insert”.
All of the sudden a Kenny Lofton with part of his jersey attached was worth more than my thousands of George Brett cards.
A pack went from 50 cents to $3.49 over night and every card started to be shiny and limited.
I am fairly sure Upper Deck kind of started this disaster by producing higher quality and more expensive cards.
Eventually good old cardboard trading cards were dead,

and in their place were ghey ass shiny pieces of plastic, metal, or fancy paper that no little kid could really afford to buy anymore.

To this day I believe someone should go back to producing good old fashioned 50 cent packs of cardboard cards and marketing them hard to kids.

I firmly believe that the fall of baseball cards is directly related to the tight jean skateboard riding junior high and high school faggots who do nothing but grow their hair out and hang out at the mall. I guess Pete Wentz should be glad Topps got greedy, but any barber out there who knows how to give a decent buzz haircut and the creepy old guy who used to run the Baseball Card shop downtown should both be writing angry letters IF they can afford the stamp to mail it.
BTW, GIRLS JEANS ARE FOR GIRLS, and dudes shouldn’t wear scarves.

Bottom line is this.

OneSeason has a chance to capture all of us who grew up on Baseball cards
and I for one believe they can pull it off.
So many former card traders have grown up and are productive members of society that we can afford cards,
they just don’t make them anymore.
At least not in a form that didn’t sour us on the industry.

The acquisition of the card was always the most exciting part.
Opening a pack of cards was magical,
and getting an IPO has some of that anticipation

The social act of “trading” cards with your buddies was always the most memorable part of the hobby.
I traded a 1986 Barry Bonds for a Bo Jackson “Ballplayer” card,
and was pretty sure I was the next Warren Buffet in 1989.
Nick Becker was on the short end of the stick at the time,
but he still brings it up when I go home for Christmas.
OneSeason has that, remember when shares of Jordan were 73 cents?
You could have had them but instead you thought OS was going to crash and sold all of your shares.

The last part
LIMITED SUPPLY.

The coolest part of that Bo Jackson card wasn’t that it was Bo Jackson, it was that I was the only one of my friends who had it.

At some point I would like to see OS release a VERY LIMITED supply of a player and have it be a no split share.

The cards that are worth the most now aren’t the ones with Jeff Kent’s chewed up gum on them that came in a $14 dollar pack

The most expensive card in the world is old ass Honus Wagner and it’s on a piece of shit cardboard back with bent corners.
No one gives a damn about how it graded,
they give a shit that there are 50 on Earth.

Sorry if I rambled, but I just wanted to explain why I think OS can be huge.

Here is your morning cup of Joe. Abide by these rules at all costs. The sky is falling. Sell all your GRTZY. To me. Enjoy this post taken from the Nation’s forums today, courtesy of OSN Director of Keepin’ it Real, The Brett. Enjoy.

Good Morning Nationeers.

I am going to introduce 5 Rules for Tuesday

Please adhere to these rules at all cost.

I will give a healthy dose of Positive Rep Love all over the face of the first National to catch each offender.

Happy hunting.

1) No Bitch Assness.
This is actually a well known P. Diddy rule.
Basically stop acting like anyone else should give a shit about your Sportfolio and do something about it.
Make a decision and nut up.

2) Who IS Best Buy?
If you are going to tell us who is the best buy, make sure you include how many shares of said player you own.
For example please don’t rave about BABE at $8.25 a share being a great deal if they are your shares for sale at $8.25.
Trying to scam the other members of the Nation is a Randy move and very rarely works.
The most important part of this rule is please don’t try to convince me PORT is a good buy at $8.25 when no one else on Earth wants him.

3) Don’t tell us about the IPO formula
Don’t tell us your conspiracy theory on the IPO monkey.
Bobo the IPO dropping orangutan will drop whoever he wants whenever he wants,
then he will beat off and throw his poo at you.
Deal with it.
I say we dip that bastard in formaldehyde for a few days, but
I DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT THE MARKET SO I WILL SHUT UP.

4) Don’t explain the market to me
Don’t tell us your fail proof solution to everything that is wrong with the market.
A free market is as complex interesting and unpredictable as each individual participating in it’s whim on a second by second basis.
You don’t know shit, stop proving it.

5) Avoid the Kool-Aid
Don’t claim BBEN is going to have a MC of 20k and his very presence on OS will unlock the money rainbow into everyone’s account.
Everyone knows the only true market savior is Yinka Dare,
BBEN will be a 10-12k turd just like all the other turds coming out after him (minus BIRD)

On Sunday Dec. 14th, the YMFD movement was announced. In 3 days, Yinka has risen to #76 on the IPO list. The Nation is currently debating in the forums whether or not to actually let the IPO happen or to take the requests out if Yinka cracks the top 10. Regardless, it has been amazing to see the power of the Nation with a little flexing of our muscles! If you haven’t done so yet, go help pay homage to Yinka Dare by requesting him to be IPO’d!

Many people will make New Year’s Resolutions this year.

Some will want to lose 15 pounds

Some will want to get out of debt

Others will want to find more work life balance
and spend more time with their kids or spouse

But

Those among us with our priorities straight know that debt, increased risk of Diabetes and Heart Disease and having your daughter on the pole are the cost of doing business.

Your interest rate is 28.99% and you make $13 an hour, you LOVE KFC Snackers and live across the street from a Burger King and your daughters name is Jazmyn and she can already do the splits for shyt’s sake.

If you want to contribute to the betterment of mankind in 2009, I implore you to join us.

Join us on the journey

The Journey of getting Yinka FUCKING Dare IPO’d before Shaquille O’Neal

My assumption is that Yinka being released will coincide with the ending of world hunger, peace in the Middle East, Hammer getting his mansion back, and Jessica Biel being naked in a movie.

Butterflies and Rainbows Fairies and Unicorns, Yinka FUCKING Dare will deliver all of these things and more.

Yes he’s dead, a total bust in the NBA and only relevant as a punch line or novelty SOI. But none of that is important now.

What is important isn’t that you put down that 4 piece meal, get a balance transfer to Capitol One, or call your ex-wife’s boyfriend Carl and ask him to please stop taking baths with Jazmyn.

What’s important NOW is that you do the following things. Write them down and check them off

1. Familiarize yourself with the cause. Please read all about the Yinka FUCKING Dare Movement below.
http://oneseasonnation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=350

2. Sign in to OneSeason.com and request him. (We have moved him from 1759 to 124 in under 36 hours)

3. Cancel everyone you have requested above “The Big Yink”

4. Tell EVERYONE you know who has a OneSeason account to do the same

5. Tell EVERYONE ELSE TO GET A ONESEASON ACCOUNT AND DO THE SAME

6. TELL THEM TO BID $2 on shares of Kobe Bryant

7. Cancel your subscription to the Newspaper and put a parental lock on Fox News because you will no longer need it. Once we enter the Dare era, it will just be reporters talking about Lemonade stands and bunnies.

8. Make YMFD Bracelets and send them to everyone who requested him and brought balance to the force.

YINKA MOTHER FUCKING DARE
IS A MOVEMENT

Recently Nation member, moderator, fantasy baseball writer extraordinaire shared his strategies for what the value of SOIs should be. By popular demand, he’s shared it with us now. It is an excel file of his pricing grid. For questions on how to view it, just ask brett in the forums. If any of you know Brett, or his writings, then the picture above will explain. If not, read his section “TheBrett” in the left hand column.

Get the pricing tool here.

Our Baseball Guru TheBrett is back with his latest thoughts on fantasy baseball, for your enjoyment…

I know this has nothing to do with Fantasy Baseball, but  the season is really far away and my next article is going to be about how someone over paid for Manny (a Boras client).  I just wanted everyone to be prepped with the backstory of why.

I wish Scott Boras would ride Supermans horse,

I wish Scott Boras would get a blood transfusion from Magic,

I wish Scott Boras would go on a date with O.J.’s ex-wife,

I wish Scott Boras would catch penis tip cancer,

I wish Scott Boras had called SHOTGUN with Earnhardt Sr.,

I wish Scott Boras would get into an altercation at a strip club with Pac Man,

I wish Scott Boras took Isiah’s sleeping pills,

I wish Scott Boras was Travis Barkers body guard, etc…

Sure, Alard Baird was an accomplice, but really he was just being held hostage by Scott Boras.

Did I mention I wish Scott Boras would be prison cell roomates with Shaq?

Ok sorry, the backstory as promised.

Scott Boras and Alard Baird collectively ruined my life.

My starting outfield in 1999 when I had Royals season tickets was

Johnny Damon, Jermaine Dye and Carlos Beltran.

We also had a young, healthy and productive Mike Sweeney plus Joe Randa playing 3rd base.

Then Scott Boras who is an asshole started discussing contracts.

The result was Baird (who in the interest of fairness I should mention IS what professional doctors refer to as “a fucking stupid retard” in medical books and such) decided he had to trade his stars and get some value in return instead of letting them leave in Free Agency and getting first round picks as compensation.

Johnny Damon and second baseman Mark Ellis to the A’s for shortstop Angel Berroa, catcher A.J. Hinch and reliever Roberto Hernandez in a three-team trade also involving the Devil Rays.

Jermaine Dye to the A’s, via the Rockies, for shortstop Neifi Perez in a three-team trade.

Carlos Beltran to the Astros for third baseman Mark Teahen, catcher John Buck and righthander Mike Wood in a three-team trade also involving the A’s.

The result?  My Yals went from a legitimate up and coming team, to just another small market piece of shit while Damon and Dye won rings and Beltran single handedly carried that ghey Astros team on his back.

Sorry, I’m bitter.  The next post will be relevant I swear.

COMING SOON:

Manny Ramirez: Texas Ranger?

P.S. - I wish Scott Boras did Coke with Len Bias and got a heart transplant from Hank Gathers.

I will do my best to give you my insight into the off season activities of the biggest MLB players and what they mean to you as
1) A fantasy owner
2) An OS owner
3) A red blooded American Male

CC Sabathia — The Big Bath. His impending assumed assimilation into the money printing, new stadium having, every game against the Red Sox on TV Evil Empire means that douche bags in NYFD hats with stupid accents that make more money than you ever thought someone who sounded illiterate could ever make will be over bidding like chimps in a beat off contest until they realize that he was a big piece of shit in the AL last year.

Prospectus -
If he signs with the Yanks then put a big price tag on him and unload before he goes 13-12 with a 4.50 ERA and reinvest in Jake Peavy. Also, he will be over drafted in every league if he lands in a big market. Wait for him to struggle and get him cheap for a quick starter or a closer.

If he signs with someone like the Giants then buy low when he is moving 100 shares a day and wait for a 10 inning shutout with a Homerun and unload him at double your investment. Also, if he DOES end up on the Giants draft Lincecum 1st overall as he would MOP UP #2 starters and probably go 27-4 or some stupid shit.

As a red blooded American Male you should pray he ends up somewhere warm in the NL with good run support as any big fat successful sports star makes it that much easier to order another Budweiser at the local bar while you watch the game. I can’t tell you how many frozen pizza’s Matt Stairs allowed me to eat during his days as a Cub.

Tomorrow - Man Ram and how being 36 means you are either A) About to suck or B) About to have an even bigger head and cloudier piss